Episode 48 - Catching Glimmers: How mothers can illuminate their well-being daily

April 16, 2024

Join your host, Mel Findlater, on a journey to discover the power of "glimmers" in this heartfelt episode of Permission To Be Human.

As mothers, our days are often filled with tasks, responsibilities, and unexpected challenges. Yet, amidst the chaos, there lie countless moments of joy, beauty, and connection waiting to be recognized and cherished. These moments, or "glimmers," have the profound ability to transform our well-being, bringing light to the ordinary and elevating our daily lives.

In this episode, we dive into the essence of glimmers—what they are, why they're especially crucial for mothers, and how we can become adept at spotting them throughout our day. Mel shares personal anecdotes and stories from our listeners, illuminating the simple yet powerful ways glimmers can manifest. Whether it's the laughter of a child, the quiet beauty of nature, or a moment of heartfelt connection, we discuss how these instances can fuel our resilience, joy, and sense of purpose. Mel reminds us of the transformative power of glimmers, not just in our personal well-being, but as a catalyst for change and impact in the world around us.

Tune in to "Catching Glimmers: How Mothers Can Illuminate Their Well-being Daily" and start your journey towards a life filled with more joy, presence, and appreciation. Let's light up our worlds, one glimmer at a time.

Episode Transcript

Episode 48 - Catching Glimmers: How mothers can illuminate their well-being daily
===

[00:00:00] Welcome to Permission to be Human, the podcast. I'm your host Mel Findlater, mother, coach, and curator of Permission to be Human, the company and community. If you're a mom, know a mom, or want to be a mom, and you crave getting out in the world to make a difference, then you're in the right place. This is a space for moms like you to connect with yourself, your purpose, and your big audacious dreams.

Because when you feel your best, you can better you, your family, and the wider world. Let's do this.

Mel: Hello? Hello and welcome back. I am back for a solo episode, it feels like it's been a fair while I've had so many amazing people to interview lately. That I haven't really stuck in to giving you some solo episodes. So I'm excited to be back and doing that today. Today's [00:01:00] episode is on a topic that has entered my life a few times in a few different ways recently. And it's on catching glimmers and I'm pretty excited about this concept. So you'll find out what glimmers are, why they matter, how we can use them to better our wellbeing. And.

Essentially help us use them to better the world.

So stick around. I'm really excited. Now, before I jump into all of this, I just want to remind you and let you know, actually that our one year podcast anniversary is coming up the second week of may. And I'm so excited for what. We'll be happening. You will be getting a podcast every single day. That is launched. And I'll be going Facebook live every single day.

[00:02:00] That week. Which I've never done before. Let's be honest. So at 10:00 AM PST every day, starting the Sunday, may the 12th, you can pop on Facebook live. And this is a week where we look at. Overwhelm. And how we, what we can do in the moment, what little tools can we use in the moment? To gather ourselves and to help us feel.

Less honestly, to help us get into our thinking brain to calm our nervous system. So do you stick around for that? And with that. One of the days will be an ask me anything day. So if you have any questions, it could be about me. It could be about your wellbeing. It could be. You know, a tip that you really would love to have.

You could be listening to these episodes over time and say, I really wonder what Mel would think about this. Then if you [00:03:00] have one of those, please email me your questions. It's simple permission to be human, [email protected]. Pop me an email, ask the questions. And I promise that either on the podcast that week, I believe it's the Friday coming out. That we can may. Either on the podcast episode or, and, or. Live in the Facebook.

Live on my page. You will get. The answer to that question. I will respond to any question that I get if I get a hundred. Well, that will be interesting. And we'll make it a whole nother week, but I would love, love, love you to pop me an email or send me a message on my Facebook page permission to be human. And let me know any questions you have.

All right. Let's get on with the day. So. Glimmers. I'm curious of whether this is a new word for you. I've really only run into it in the last maybe six months or so in my life. [00:04:00] So, what is it?

Before I explain the exact li a definition for it. I'm going to give you an example of one. So MI. Noticing a glimmer in my day, this morning when we woke up. My son was, you know, we were doing going about our morning, getting ready for school. And he was a little frustrated cause he had hid in his sister, told me where he was and I actually didn't even notice this was happening until he was getting really frustrated.

And I said, all right, go downstairs. I'll be down in a minute. You go hide. So we hides and I'm looking around. And then. You know, he's hiding in this spot. That's like I, funnily enough, did not even notice him. He was standing beside a bookshelf. It was right out in the open. And I was looking for really tricky spots. And when I found them, I was like, oh, and he's like, ah, and we had this really lovely, surprising moments.

And. It was playful and fun and we both giggled and it was such a [00:05:00] wonderful way to start the day. That is a glimmer. There was that little moment that I got and that he got just pure joy.

So.

Let's get into what a GRA glimmer is a little bit more. You've probably heard of the word trigger. A trigger could be a smell that you smell or a sound or something that's happened.

Maybe a behavior, maybe something your kid has done, maybe something a partner or a friend has done. It could be so many different things. Touching on any of our senses. And it's based on something that. Our nervous system thinks. Because of something that happened in the past that felt unsafe. We're now unsafe right now. Right. So.

I mean, here's a positive trigger.

If we smell smoke. We're all of a sudden going to like, be like, ah, fire, right? So into safety mode, but often [00:06:00] triggers are there in a way that isn't protected, particularly helpful. If we're not actually in immediate danger, which is what our nervous system thinks we are. So let's say there was a really unkind person in your life who smelled like cigar smoke. Every time you smell cigar smoke, your body will end.

Nervous system will automatically. Feel unsafe. It could, right. This could trigger you to do that. And that's a trigger. Okay. So we kind of get that. It's a, it's something that our nervous system perceives to be unsafe and then our body. Acts accordingly, we get sweaty or heart races, all those things. So glimmers are the opposite. Glimmers.

So they're described, I've loved this description and by the Newport Institute, They describe it as glimmers are tiny micro moments of joy. Fleeting everyday moments that elicit a rush of happiness. [00:07:00] Gratitude. Calm. Peace. Safety or Goodwill. Right. So glimmers are the opposite of triggers. They are when our body remembers feeling safe. So it acts accordingly. So an example might be a baby laughing.

Right. Even me like thinking of that right now brings me. This sense of joy. And innocence. Right. Or for my daughter, it might be. Thinking she spotted a ferry in the garden.

It could be receiving a surprise and welcomed hug. It could be spotting a rainbow.

It could be hearing your favorite song. Where the feeling of the sun on your skin? Or the smell of rain. A [00:08:00] glimmer of something that we have likely experienced before. So our nervous system remembers it as being safe. So it reacts with a slower heart rate. It fills us with happy hormones. And we are just in our best place in those moments.

And sometimes they are. They are fleeting. They are. Small everyday. Micro-moments. They're not necessarily the like big I'm proud moments, like, um, I graduated university. Right. It's more about the tiny things that might've happened in that like, perhaps. My dad moved over the little dangle thing on my hat. That is a tiny micro moment of joy.

That is a glimmer. Right.

Okay. So. Here's the thing is that.

As humans, we naturally have something called a negativity bias. [00:09:00] So we noticed the things that are negative. And unless we do it with intention. We often don't notice a lot of the positive things or we skim by them and don't remember that they happened. But here's the cool thing. We can actually train our brain with a little intention each and every day to start noticing the positive. So just start to notice the glimmers in our day. And the more glimmers we notice. The better we will feel. We feel good, both in that moment of the glimmer happening.

So the sun is on my skin and I'm like, oh, it feels so good. But also if I set the intention to remember it later, I get those good feelings a second time. And a third time, if I recall it again. So let's give an example. When I look out my window. I have this beautiful. Line of trees. That's [00:10:00] on a hill back there and it's, you know, those like evergreen style trees.

There's there's.

All sorts of different evergreens out there, but there's furs and.

And they have that kind of look to them and there's a beautiful, stunning view of how it reaches the sky like that, that straight line.

And there's something about that. That just brings me so much contentment. Like, I love that view. It's one of my favorite in the world.

And when I sit and look at it, I feel that glimmer. And right now. I'm remembering, feeling that glimmer from sitting on my chair out on my little patio, outside my office and looking at that, and I get the same feelings. Cause cool thing about our brains. They don't really know the difference between reality. And memory. [00:11:00] Right and imagination. So we can. Feel those things by simply remembering them.

So glimmers help to. Relax, your nervous system.

And if we set an intention to notice those glimmers and we. Notice a more and more often than over the longterm. Noticing and appreciating them will help us build emotional resilience.

And. More importantly, it will help us develop a less overactive nervous system.

So you might find if you do this over time and it takes a while to get used to this. That. You find yourself more regulated, more often feeling more connected, more often feeling safer more often because [00:12:00] you've built up those neural connections in your brain of ease and rest.

And here's like, why is this important for mothers? Because. Oh, my goodness. Ease and rest is not a huge part of my life right now. And I doubted as yours. We have so much stress put on us. And surrounding us. As a mom. That.

Triggers are far more likely. Right. Our nervous system is in a state of fight or flight or survival. Often.

And our kids. They are really good at finding our triggers. Right. So we're more likely to have those triggers.

And so it's really easy for us as mothers because of the situation around us to develop an overactive nervous [00:13:00] system. One that notices the negatives and has us responding with stress and overwhelm.

And, you know, we've done an episode on permission to be overwhelmed and that's to acknowledge why, like, of course you're overwhelmed, right?

But what if there was another way?

What if we could find a way to make it easier to stay regulated. Because we filled our body full of so many glimmers and moments of ease and rest. That. It just reacts safe. The little things that our kid does or that, you know, happens in our life. They don't bug us as much because our nervous system has relaxed.

It's easy to imagine a life that may be the same, the same things happen around it. And yet it's so completely different. If our [00:14:00] reactions. Are different.

Be pretty darn nice. Wouldn't it? That's that's the ultimate aim. I know it is for me.

Okay, so what can we do? What can you do? What am I going to do? The first thing is set in set an intention. To spot. Glimmers.

Start small. Don't overwhelm yourself with this being another task that you're supposed to do, right? This is simply an intention to notice. Start with one a day.

First just invited in invite the glimmers into your life. Just be open to it because our mind notices things. That we want to notice. It likes to notice patterns. So if you start with one a day, Maybe at lunchtime, you always check in and say, oh, what glimmer have I noticed today?

And if you're not sure yet, because you're still practicing. You can be like, [00:15:00] okay, reset the intention. I got another half of a day. What glimmer. Am I going to notice?

What glimmer am I going to notice? And then check in that night.

Another way to do it is to go to where the glimmers are. So there's going to be places in your house or places that you like to go out into. I love to walk into the woods next to my house. I go there with my dog. There might be a sit spot, which we've talked about in other episodes. There might be the shower and the feeling that gives you go to where you, you know, you remember having glimmers in the past. And. Allow yourself and make it an. Honest effort to go to those places.

Often.

Right. Allow those glimmers to be there. Give yourself a chance in the spaces that will you'll notice them [00:16:00] more often.

And lastly engage all of your senses.

And then notice the thing is our census are actually primed and ready to take in these moments of connection and wonder and awe and peace. We simply just need to notice them.

So.

Sometimes, you know, we've talked about a lot of different tools on this and sometimes. They are very specific to those moments of overwhelm. And it's like, okay, how do we get out of that? So we've just talked about how we're going to be going through that on that second week of may, the anniversary week. However, sometimes there's tools like this one, that if we start doing this now and dedicate, let's say the first a day and then a week, and then maybe a year to this. Then it becomes easier and easier and easier. And. It's as simple as [00:17:00] setting an intention. It's as simple as setting an intention to notice. Notice the glimmers in your life. And once you notice, start to share it with someone, you know, keep yourself accountable.

Somehow, maybe that's something that you speak to your partner about in the evening. If you have one or with your kids. Maybe you want to share it on Facebook or Instagram, we're going to start a hashtag permission to glimmer. So if you find it helpful to go on and. Right. What the glimmer is, maybe take a picture, but you don't have to have a picture cause don't let it ruin the moment it's about being in that moment.

But if you want to write something on Facebook or Instagram, With the hashtag permission to glimmer do it. I'm going to check in on it and I will like give you all the thumbs up and celebrations for those.

You can let the permission to be human community in on your intentions in that way. [00:18:00]

And here's the thing. If you're listening to this podcast, then you're likely a mother or mothering in some sense. And you have a desire to dream big. And go make a difference in your family and the wire at world.

And.

Because that's the person you are. You've likely seen something that you think needs fixing. Or that you think the world needs more of, and this is so amazing. I'm so excited for people like you. You are needed. In this world. And as world changers. If we're not careful. We can only see those negative things in the world.

We're constantly trying to fix something. Or make something better. And we do need to fix things and make them better. What we don't need is for that to, to bring us down. To get us. Deregulate [00:19:00] over. Stress our immune or not our immune system. Although that too. But our nervous system. Right. So alongside noticing the challenges in the world for our own sanity and wellbeing and that of our family and those around us.

We need to notice the wonder and delight to. We need to feel awe. And contentment.

We need to take care of ourselves first. And glimmer spotting. This is one way we can do that.

So yes. Permission to be human permission, to notice those negative things. And you know what permission to set the intention.

To notice the glimmers.

Mel: It is so hard for me to believe because time has just flown by, but we are coming up to our one year anniversary of Permission to Be Human, the [00:20:00] podcast. How? Just how? And I'm so excited that I have the tons of stuff in the works. Like tons. So Sunday, May the 12th to Saturday, May the 18th, there is going to be things happening every single day that week.

There'll be a podcast episode coming out at 7am each day, including Quite a few different things, but you'll get a chance to do, hear an interview with me. I gave the hosting thing over to my good friend Sarah, and she interviewed me. So you'll find out more about me, you'll find out more about my family.

And more importantly, this is a week about overwhelm, right? Tools to get overwhelmed. Out of Overwhelm is what that week is going to be all about. So we'll have episodes by an eight year old girl who [00:21:00] teaches kids yoga. Amazing. We'll have episodes by an EFT tapping specialist. We'll have episodes with just me, chatter chattering away as I always do.

And as well as an episode coming out every single day that week at 10 a. m. on Facebook live and Instagram live. I will be showing you a tool that will help you get through overwhelm. So don't miss that. There are also going to be prizes.

I'm super excited. I am gathering them together and figuring out what they're going to be, but do show up that week, listen live on Facebook, listen to the podcast episodes, and you will find out how you can be in for some pretty epic prizes. And I have one request for [00:22:00] you right now. One of those days is going to be a Q& A, Ask Mel Anything Day.

And in order for me to run something like that, I need some questions. What have you been wondering when you've been listening to this video? What questions do you have? You can ask me anything. I'm pretty much an open book. It can be about me or it could be about you. It could be about your wellbeing. Ask me anything.

Curiosities, and I promise I will answer them that week, even if I get like a thousand. We'll figure it out. So please do send me permission to be human, always at gmail. com your questions so that I can answer them. I'm so excited that we're one year in and I can't wait to celebrate with you.

/ [00:23:00] That is it, folks. This has been Mel Findlater on Permission to Be Human, the podcast, and I am so glad that you have joined us here today and hope that you have taken away some tidbits that will help you go away, connect with your big audacious dream, and make that massive impact in the world that you are dying to make.

If you liked today's episode, please, please, please Like it, share it. Think of one person. Think of one person that you think would also like it and send it on over to them. Let's get this out there and more moms feeling like themselves. Inspired, Dreaming big and out there. Please do head on over to find me on Facebook with permission to be human or Instagram or you can even Off me an email and say hello.

Have permission to be human always [00:24:00] at gmail. com say hello and let me know that you listened. What did you like about it? I would love to hear if you didn't like it. I don't really want to know. Just kidding. You can share that if you want. I would love to know, however, who you are. Let's connect. Let's find out what you want more of.

I want to hear from you and I want to make it what would be useful to you. As always, remember that you have permission to dream big, permission to feel big, and permission to be you. You have complete and full permission to be human. For real, you do.

Episode 48 - Catching Glimmers: How mothers can illuminate their well-being daily

Let me know that you want Nature Coaching near you