Pining for purpose
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[00:00:00] Welcome to Permission to be Human, the podcast. I'm your host, Mel Findlater mother, coach, and curator of Permission to be Human, the company and community. If you're a mom, know a mom, or want to be a mom, and you crave getting out in the world to make a difference, then you're in the right place. This is a space for moms like you to connect with yourself, your purpose, and your big, audacious dreams.
Because when you feel your best, you can better you, your family, and the wider world. Let's do this.
What do you want to be when you grow up?
I don't know either. Picture this. A nine year old Mel. Sitting in her grade four classroom. Surrounded by her friends, her teacher, and the big buddies that happened to be there as well. And being asked that [00:01:00] question. What do you want to be when you grow up?
And I remember panicking right away and thinking, I have no idea.
Okay. Just say something, anything, but. Whatever you do. Don't say police woman. Those were my thoughts. I have very few memories from my childhood, but this one I remember so clearly.
I had no idea what to say. So it goes around the room and eventually it's my turn. My heart was racing. My palms were sweating. And I panicked. So I said, police woman.
And as the attention moved on to the next person, I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. Why had I even said that.
Even at the age of nine. I felt the pressure of deciding who I wanted to be [00:02:00] and what I was going to do with my life. Similar to now. I knew what I didn't want to do. And I knew who I didn't want to be. But as for what I did or. Do who knows? The choices are endless. And even at nine, I knew that I didn't know all the choices. So, how was I meant to choose? And even if I did know all the choices, there's just too many.
What if I got the wrong one?
So fast forward a little bit to high school. I remember taking one of those career tests, you know, the ones that are many multiple choice questions. And I don't know many of the questions on the test, but the ones that I remember. Or where I said, I do not want to work nine to five. I do not want to sit at a desk all day and I'd like to be outside. And so the limitations of that test back in that day, [00:03:00] Determined that I should be an air flight. Flake person. Or whatever you call them.
You know, one of those people who waves the airplane in with the, the flag thing at an airport,
I could kind of see it for, you know, a very short while it was outside, it was moving. It was probably diverse hours. A fine career for some. But I knew then, and I definitely know now that it would not be fulfilling to me.
So as I grew up, I started to see that. The jobs that no one really talked about when you were younger. This one time in particular, when I was working at a summer camp and university. We had a staff training. And I remember this couple, I assume they were a couple, there was a man and a woman who came along. To train the staff at this summer camp. And they taught us [00:04:00] all of these amazing icebreakers and team building games and exercises. And I remember loving it and thinking, whoa, that is a cool job.
I want to do what they do.
But. Then my thought went to, but then I'd have to, like, they have their own business here. I'd have to start my own business. And I most definitely can not do that. I don't have the training for that.
And it was 15 plus years later that I finally. We had the courage and experienced. Once to realize. Very few people know how to run a business. But, Hey, I was certainly smart enough and brave enough to figure it out. I love to learn. I'll figure it out on the way. And so I quit my charity job and set out to change the world through my business with some very good friends. And the many projects and businesses that have come since.
And so. What do I want to be when I grow up? I [00:05:00] still don't know.
And if you don't know the answer, that's a, okay. I actually have this theory that very few people ever know the answer to that question. I mean, my real answer is that I want to be me. I want to be curious, diverse. I want to be doing something or even better. Some of the things that matter and make a difference in the world. But as for the specific job. I don't think we're meant to know. How can we make a decision now for a future self? Without all the information.
We don't know who we're going to be in that time. That's pretty challenging. Right? And how do we even make a decision for now? Right now. And so if you're not sure right now, what you want to do when you grow up or even what you want to do right now, You're not alone. It's totally normal. Of course, we have no idea. And who says it's one [00:06:00] thing.
And so instead of looking at.
What specific job we want to do.
I propose, we start to think about. This a little bit differently. I think we should think about it as purpose. And meaning, imagine if in school, instead of focusing on a job that we might do afterwards, which frankly. They may be obsolete. The job that we decide on by the time we graduate, because the world is moving so quickly. Instead of focusing on that. What if we focus on understanding ourselves, And. Connecting with that purpose.
That's deep within us. And finding meaning in our life. giving making a difference. And so let's talk a little bit about purpose and meaning and how that might. B, what you're actually looking for.
[00:07:00] So Georgian park in 2023, did some research. On purpose and meeting. And they sought to understand the difference between meaning and purpose. And they found that they are distinctly different and. I think this is really fascinating because. I find myself going back and forth on these words constantly.
So they described the difference as meaning is. A subjective experience of feeling that life fits into a larger context and has significance. It connotes a sense of comprehension and that life as a whole makes sense. Meanwhile purpose is an overall sense of goals and direction in life.
So meaning is about comprehension and purposes about action.
So purpose is about feeling like you're contributing something that is bigger than yourself. That's my interpretation. [00:08:00] That is. Making a difference in some way in the world.
And something really interesting is that when we start to have our basic needs met. We naturally start to yearn for purpose. It makes. Makes sense. So if you're starting to feel, maybe you're a mom, who's just coming out of the toddler stages. You're no longer necessarily in the survival mode.
You're starting to get your basic needs met. You know, you get your showers more often, you might be sleeping a little more often. Some of those needs are met. Then it makes sense that you naturally start to look within. And you start to yearn for purpose.
And now. Your kids. Our purpose a hundred percent and it's okay. If you still yearn for purpose above and beyond that.
Rebecca Goldstein has a really beautiful [00:09:00] quote. And she says we are matter. That yearn to matter.
We are matter. That yearn into matter. So you're in a way you're human.
Right.
And I think it is when we feel we have purpose that we start to realize how much we matter.
Right. So.
So purpose is obviously a topic that is very close to my heart. And I'm going to be looking at exploring purpose a lot more on this podcast, giving really specifics of how you can connect with your purpose. And so much more.
And I'm going to be coming up with some journal prompts and other freebies that you can connect in with.
Cause. I believe so strongly. That if we can connect with our purpose. [00:10:00] And with meaning.
Then we can connect more with ourselves. And when we connect more with ourselves, We see that we matter. And when we see that we matter, we go and make a difference in the world. And that's the aim of things, right.
See that you matter so that you go and do something that matters. Because you do matter. And I, like, I was just telling a friend the other day, you know, that. Um, I do a lot of this purpose work in the coaching that I, I do. And I sometimes want to like shake the people that I'm with, which of course I wouldn't, but. And say, do you realize how amazing you are? And I say this to you too.
Do you realize. I realize how amazing you are.
If you're a mom listening in, you burst the child, you brought another living thing into this world.
And you are everything [00:11:00] before that. And you are everything after that. And you. Do so much. With so little.
And you matter.
You matter so much and the world needs. Who you will become when you start to realize that. So if you're starting to yearn. That purpose and yearn that sense of meaning in your life. It's okay. It's an amazing thing. In fact, because you were finally at that stage where some of your basic needs are being met and you're like, oh, what else is out here? I think I, I can do more.
I think I can be more, it's not about doing more.
You're doing plenty enough, but you can create and do things that matter. Alongside the ones that you already are because by golly, being a mum really matters.
So. I hope this was interesting to you. [00:12:00] I would love to answer any questions you have around purpose. You can pop me an email on [email protected] and just let me know. What do you think about all of this? Are you someone that is seeking or yearning for purpose? And what are you wondering about that? And stick around because I'm definitely going to be talking more about the practicalities of this. Both myself and finding some really good guests to speak on this topic.
So I look forward to continuing the conversation.
That is it, folks. This has been Mel Findlater on Permission to Be Human, the podcast, and I am so glad that you have joined us here today and hope that you have taken away some tidbits that will help you go away, connect with your big audacious dream, and make that massive impact in the world that you are dying to make.[00:13:00]
If you liked today's episode, please, please, please Like it, share it, think of one person, think of one person that you think would also like it and Send it on over to them. Let's get this out there and more moms feeling like themselves inspired Dreaming big and out there being them. Please do head on over to find me on Facebook with permission to be human or Instagram or you can even Off me an email and say hello.
Have permission to be human, always, at gmail. com. Say hello and let me know that you listened. What did you like about it? I would love to hear. If you didn't like it, I don't really want to know. Just kidding, you can share that if you want. I would love to know, however. who you are. Let's connect. Let's find out what you want more of.
Yes, this is a newer podcast, so I want to [00:14:00] hear from you and I want to make it what would be useful to you. As always, remember that you have permission to dream big, permission to feel big, and permission to be you. You have complete and full permission to be human. For real. You do.
